Dear Guest,

Dear Guest,

I am more than willing to answer any of your inqueries as to where a special event may be. However, please refrain from getting angry with me when I am unable to assist you due to your inability to provide me with ANY information about said event. Telling me that you have a "breakfast" but you don't know what time, where, or with whom you booked the event does not give me enough information to even know where to begin to look.
And I'm sorry our brunch is at a "stupid" time since you're eating lunch at noon and the brunch doesn't start until 11:30. I am not responsible for the scheduling of the kitchen, and I really don't appreciate your tone.
Signed,
Your disgruntled desk clerk

An interaction I had with a guest this morning

Guest: *ruffles through papers and signs on my desk* Do you have any.... I thought they had said....9:15......*walks away*
Me:...............................


yeah.

I'm quite bored.

New Cafe!

So, a new open air cafe opened behind the hotel today.
To get to the cafe from the front desk of the hotel, one must go down the hall and turn left. The elevator will be in front of them, and on the left there is a door to the cafe.
I've been giving people directions there for the past hour.
Some of the responses I've gotten:

• It's not on the porch? No.
• Oh, through the dining room to get there then? No.
• So we need to go around the building? No.
• Ok! *walks out front door* Erm...

Maybe we're gonna have to print up some maps.

Not at All Manic Monday

It's 8:45 and I'm bored already. Seems that the craziness that was yesterday has passed. Already averted one minor crisis today.... the lack of milk at Continental Breakfast. I totally side with the guests on this one... you can't have a continental breakfast without milk! I got so upset when the dining hall at AU was out of milk during finals week. Just not acceptable.

So, I suppose I can fulfill my promise to tell you more about some of those "teasers" I posted awhile back.

Let's see.. we'll start with:

• Gossip. I am not sure whether it's because I'm a good listener or just a captive audience stuck behind a desk, but other employees love to gossip to me. Usually, it's about colleagues, sometimes bosses, and sometimes about guests, particularly the obnoxious kind. I know who's made about person x's promotion, who can't stand their boss, and what guests were absolute slobs and horrible tippers. I also know when the housekeepers catch a quick cat nap, sneak out for a smoke break, or work through lunch so they can leave early. I do, however, tend to keep this gossip to myself, unless I am instructed otherwise.

• Conferences. I shudder typing that word. Right before our chautauqua season begins, we host 3 conferences right in a row. These are groups from churches of a particular denomination from across the state. Each of these groups have slightly different reputations. The one in the middle consists mostly of young adults, and thus tend to be loud but tolerable, though their rooms tend to be trashed. The first tends to have a lot of big tippers and gracious people, with a few bad eggs mixed in... and the last? Ugh. These are the folks with the biggest entitlement complex, the lowest sense of empathy, and the least patience. Conferences in general means that every employee on the Chautauqua complex is absolutely streched beyond their means. Most people work overtime, and 14-hour workdays are not uncommon. Thus, Conferences are dreaded, and take at least a week to recover from.

Dear Guest,

I regret the inconvenience, but we do not have a room with 2 queen sized beds with a lake view in the $100 price range with a private bath and an attached room.
Let's keep the requests reasonable here, ok? Like... a room with 2 queen sized beds and a private bath? Totally doable. Lake view and attached room? You got it. $100 price range? Sure.
BUT NOT ALL OF THEM.
Good day,
Your disgruntled clerk

*exhales*

Wow. This morning was without a doubt the craziest shift I have ever worked here. 68 rooms checked out. Well, actually, 67, one still hasn't. I should probably look into that.

Some highlights

• The woman who had 5 different rooms under her name trying to settle up her bill. Didn't bother to you know, talk to each of the family members in those rooms to settle up the bill. Had to do it at the desk, with 5 people in line behind her.
• The 3 women sharing a room splitting the check- one paid by credit card, one paid by check, and the third with cash. I don't make this crap up.
• Note to public: if you don't want people to think something *ahem* obscene occurred in your room, don't leave rose petals in the tub and an empty carton of whipped cream in the garbage. Actually, let me revise. Just don't do it, regardless of what you want people to think; many many unneeded mental images
• another note: just because you can't figure out how to work something, doesn't mean it's broken. Saying something is broken when in fact you just can't figure it out makes you look like an idiot, far more than admitting you can't figure out how to work it does.
• This is a 136 year old hotel. An occasional spider is going to get into the hotel. This does not give you permission to exaggerate and tell the front desk clerk that there are "tons" of spiders in your room. Tons does not = 2.
• The fact that your kids were ill last night is lamentable. It does not, however, entitle you to a late check out. Neither does it entitle you to be an asshole when the front desk clerk explains that you don't get a late check out.
• Best overheard of the day:

Toddler: mommy i gotta go potty

mom: go ahead

Toddler: come with me

mom: I can't go into the men's room because I'm a girl

Toddler: Mom, I wish you were a boy.

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July to all!

Today is one of the busiest days at the hotel. I really don't have too much time to post, but I have a story.

Today, a guest approached and the following conversation took place:

Guest: Excuse me, but there's something that looks like dog poop on the carpet upstairs
Me:... oh my. I will let the housekeepers know.
Guest: Well, I told someone who was up there and she said it would get cleaned at the end of the year.
Me: Well, where is it? In the hallway?
Guest: In the hallway, near the stairs on the second floor. There are two spots, they look like dog poop. If you just give me the carpet cleaner I'll take care of it
Me: Erm. We don't give out cleaning supplies to guests. I'll let the housekeepers know
Guest: Well, will they take care of it?
Me: That is up to them. But I'm sure that they will look into it and decide if it is a priority.

I spoke to the housekeepers shortly after.
There are no dog poop piles on the carpet. Which could have something to do with the fact that we have a strict no pets policy.
What did the guest see, then?
Two small stains on the carpet. They are black. They are small. They look NOTHING like dog poop.

That is all.